randomness in my so-called life

Is it just me, or do you also think Jillian ward is annoying?

2011-11-04T00:18:00.001+08:00

she's probably too bibo for you, haha. all kids are annoying to some degree

Ask me anything

What's your honest opinion of me? (if you're brave you'll press ask followers)

2011-06-10T16:32:00.001+08:00

you're smart and fun to be with

Ask me anything

What have you wanted to do for years but haven't gotten around to yet?

2011-05-28T23:46:00.003+08:00

start a business

Ask me anything

Peanut butter & jelly or grilled cheese?

2011-05-28T23:46:00.001+08:00

grilled cheese. no contest

Ask me anything

Name two (2) Filipino food in your mind at the moment. Is it your favorite? :D

2011-05-28T23:45:00.001+08:00

adobo and crispy kangkong. yep, they're my faves

Ask me anything

formspring.me

2011-02-13T22:19:00.001+08:00

Ask me anything http://formspring.me/rikkishiratori

Don't worry, your ex is also cheating on his current "fiance." That bitch will get what she deserves. And your ex? Well, he won't change (yet), but for me (and all his other girls) he's an asshole.

2011-01-16T18:42:00.001+08:00

he is and she will get what is due to her. you can even tell her he's cheating yourself. her number is 09222834704.

Ask me anything

this is so confusing

2010-08-29T16:17:00.000+08:00

lemme get this straight - the girl grows up to be a man, impregnates himself, leaves his lover (himself), kidnaps his own child (who is also himself), talks to himself in a bar, and convinces himself to meet himself to have a date with destiny... i think i hurt my brain...

and to think today is a day of national mourning for the events last monday.

2010-08-25T17:09:00.000+08:00

after the recent HK tourist massacre (as the chinese have dubbed it), i’m really disappointed about how our youth today are taking the opportunity to pose for pictures within the crime scene area.

KIDDIES, THE AREA ISN’T THERE FOR YOU TO HAVE YOUR PHOTO OP! IT’S A FREAKING CRIME SCENE! DO YOU EVEN REALIZE THAT INNOCENT PEOPLE DIED THERE AND THAT WHAT TOOK PLACE IS WHAT SHAMED FILIPINOS FROM ALL OVER?

it’s no wonder other nationalities are saying bad things about our country, our government and our people. seeing these kinds of people seizing the moment to pose like this while the victims and their families suffer traumatic distress is just disheartening. it’s showing the world what kind of idiots we have in our academic institutions too. it’s bad enough that they think our police forces are incompetent (which they are).

do these kids even know the meaning of the word remorse?

and you have the guts to pose in front of a camera like that? come on! you weren't even able to do your jobs properly and you are still thick enough to get a photo op yourselves!

all i can say, for the people of hong kong, is we're very sorry for what happened. we hope that you don't see this as a basis on how all filipinos act. it's just that there are idiots like these who don't have the decency to pay respects to others.

when doing "stuff" in your dorm room...

2010-08-11T14:05:00.000+08:00

tumblr_l6yrd8LnAU1qzpwi0o1_500.jpg>

i'm the empress

2010-08-10T02:16:00.000+08:00

patrick wants to go to school at hogwarts!

2010-07-27T21:52:00.001+08:00

Fit to Post – Yahoo! Philippines News � Blog Archive Comedian Redford White passes away, 54 �

2010-07-25T14:40:00.000+08:00

Fit to Post – Yahoo! Philippines News � Blog Archive Comedian Redford White passes away, 54 �

redford white apparently had lung cancer and has been getting treatment recently. may he rest in peace...

punctuation - it makes a HUGE difference

2010-07-23T10:54:00.000+08:00

Fit to Post – Yahoo! Philippines News � Blog Archive Filipina maid inherits millions from Singaporean employer �

2010-07-22T08:05:00.000+08:00

Fit to Post – Yahoo! Philippines News � Blog Archive Filipina maid inherits millions from Singaporean employer �

wow... she's lucky to have such a wonderful employer. best of luck to this woman.

i write like...

2010-07-16T11:55:00.000+08:00

I write like
Stephen King

I Write Like by Mémoires, Mac journal software. Analyze your writing!

If you could master one skill what would it be?

2010-07-09T23:14:00.001+08:00

i'd say i want to master playing the drums

Ask me anything

If you had to throw away either your TV or your computer, which would you choose?

2010-07-09T23:13:00.005+08:00

i'd throw away the TV.

Ask me anything

If you were stranded on a desert island, which one person would you bring with you?

2010-07-09T23:13:00.003+08:00

i can't. i need to bring two of them DX

Ask me anything

If you could go back in time 10 years and tell your younger self something, what would it be?

2010-07-09T23:13:00.001+08:00

listen to the people around you and follow your intuition

Ask me anything

What would your dream job look like?

2010-06-28T16:40:00.001+08:00

my dream job would be something that i love doing. it would also be something that i can do successfully while i spend time with my boys

Ask me anything

yo, just looked at your tumblr ...that new thing the ipad just came out if ur a member of tumblr u can beta test 1 for free if u use this site http://bit.ly/aKvItb

2010-06-28T16:27:00.001+08:00

sorry, i don't have an ipad. i don't think i'd want one because it doesn't have flash :(

Ask me anything

finding happiness

2010-06-28T13:55:00.000+08:00

i haven't wrote anything remotely interesting for the longest time. before, i wrote stuff because i was lonely or bitter about something. i feel like today is a good day to start writing again.

some people are happy and grateful about what they have while others are just plain unappreciative about the good things they are given because they're bored with with it.

it's sad knowing that someone you gave everything to would only take you for granted and discard you in a snap. it's hard to accept someone you trust had betrayed you, leaving you feeling that you'll never be able to put trust in people again. it's especially painful when you've been in a relationship for so long and when it's over, you aren't even considered to be a part of their life anymore, not even as a friend after everything you've been through.

excuses are exhausting to listen to. harsh words are exchanged and can't be taken back. you can't help but let the tears fall. you want to hurt yourself to forget the pain you feel inside.

you then try to hide your pain through your smiles and let everyone else think that you're happy when you're not.

for some, happiness is just a heartbeat away from their grasp but for the rest, they need a vague treasure map to be able to find it. until they do, the sorrow that dwells in the heart will never be diffused.

What's your earliest memory?

2010-06-28T10:34:00.001+08:00

that i was sitting on the floor with a newspaper and i was trying to read it as if i knew how to. i think i was 2 or 3 years old then

Ask me anything

If you could instantly become fluent in another language, which language would you pick?

2010-06-28T10:33:00.001+08:00

japanese

Ask me anything

we interrupt your regular routine to advertise :D

2010-06-11T14:39:00.000+08:00

What music are you listening to today?

2010-06-07T20:52:00.005+08:00

clazziquai's "come to me"

Ask me anything

Who was the best boss you've ever had?

2010-06-07T20:52:00.003+08:00

my parents :D

Ask me anything

What household chore do hate to do the most?

2010-06-07T20:52:00.001+08:00

cleaning the bathroom :-&

Ask me anything

What one thing are you exceptionally bad at?

2010-06-07T20:51:00.001+08:00

cooking? haha

Ask me anything

If you had to cook dinner for someone tonight, what would you make?

2010-06-07T20:48:00.001+08:00

maybe some carbonara. that's the best and easiest thing i can think of. i can't really cook XD

Ask me anything

If you had your own talk show, who would your first three guests be?

2010-06-03T07:36:00.001+08:00

lourd de veyra, john cusack and oprah winfrey

Ask me anything

formspring.me

2010-05-31T16:35:00.001+08:00

Ask me anything http://formspring.me/rikkishiratori

Play this game for 5 minutes and tell me what you feel. http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/534416

2010-05-31T16:32:00.001+08:00

waaaaaaaaaa! aliw!

Ask me anything

Bakit mo naisip gumawa ng account dito? :)

2010-05-31T16:21:00.001+08:00

impluwensya ng online friends ko :D (lol, tagal ko nang di nag-check XD)

Ask me anything

sigh

2010-05-14T12:03:00.000+08:00

there comes a point in your life that you feel like you never want to get up in the morning (whatever time of the day that is for you) and you just want to stay in bed and cry. is that what you call depression?

i'm having a hard time coping up with things that went on with my personal life and i find myself unable to talk to someone about it. maybe it's because even with within the anger lies a deep desire to protect the person who caused all this.

i'm finding it hard to appreciate myself now. i don't feel like someone would be able to appreciate me as a woman. i feel messed up, ugly, incompetent and foolish. when i'm with family or friends i try my hardest to smile like i'm okay. when people ask me how i'm doing, i always respond with "i'm fine" when i'm not.

i've been feeling like this for a while now and i just had to write this down to somehow ease the burden. i'm not looking for advice. i just want someone to hear me out.

to you: you know who you are. i hope you're keeping your word this time around...

formspring.me

2010-03-10T21:38:00.003+08:00

Ask me anything http://formspring.me/rikkishiratori

anu ang pinaka-aayaw mong makita sa mga mall (pwede tao, bagay, hayop, hyop na tao, bagay na tao etc...)?

2010-03-10T21:38:00.001+08:00

mga jologs na nagko-converge sa isang area na parang mga langaw

Ask me anything

will you be attending PPF outing on May?

2010-03-10T21:37:00.001+08:00

sadly no, bawal daw swimming XS

Ask me anything

formspring.me

2010-03-03T21:31:00.001+08:00

do you play robot unicorn as well? =))

yes i do XD buset kayo!

Ask me anything

formspring.me

2010-03-02T18:17:00.001+08:00

What YouTube video made you laugh recently?

russell peters

Ask me anything

my first post for the new year

2010-01-04T06:21:00.000+08:00

so much have happened in the past year. in our family alone, we lost loved ones. the world itself as we know it lost a lot of people too. not only did we lose prominent figures but we also lost many innocent lives to violence.

there have been ups and downs for everyone in 2009. i'm looking forward to having a better year for all of us in 2010. hopefully, there would be better days to look forward to. let's all work together to make a better future, not only for ourselves but also for our children.

belated happy new year to everyone. let's make things happen in 2010!

blog has a new look!

2009-12-08T10:37:00.000+08:00

i decided to change my blog's layout since my old one didn't look so good with firefox. i has a domo-kun!!! i'm finding the new layout editor super fun and easy. i didn't have to labor for hours just to have my template done. weeeeee~!

catch ya'll later~

what the hell is wrong with this country???

2009-10-23T12:55:00.000+08:00

i came across this blog from a plurk friend as well as several other people i've been following on twitter: http://gangbadoy.multiply.com/journal/item/415/Important_info_from_a_now-blocked_blog

why in the world are the relief goods donated by other countries not being distrubuted to typhoon victims yet? the original post was from ellaganda.com which is now blocked for unknown reasons. this is yet one reason why we our country cannot progress. we have people in power who are corrupted by the power that they hold. they all have ulterior motives that only seems to benefit themselves. just take a look at what is happening around us now...

now is not the time to be selfish. now is the time to help those in need. kahit sabihin n'yong magkaka-inggitan dahil imported sa kanya, sa akin hindi, that's not a valid reason. ibigay n'yo ang dapat ibigay sa nangangailangan.

another weekend ahead

2009-07-10T08:45:00.000+08:00

only one more shift to go and it's gonna be a little relaxation time for me. i spend most of my time at work and commuting. very little of my time is spent with my little family and sleeping. i always look forward to weekends since i get to devote my time to my family exclusively. if you would notice, i don't go online much. i have found a way to do now though. later~!

CON-ASS my ass!

2009-06-09T05:40:00.000+08:00

let's all say no to this BS!

cross-postings

2009-05-28T04:49:00.000+08:00

lol, multiply still posted my old blogs from lj... haha... anyway, i haven't really posted anything remotely decent lately. i'm content with plurk and facebook updates, so there.

anyways, sean's second birthday is due in a couple of weeks or so. i'm so excited about it. he's growing up so fast. he still hasn't learned how to speak completely coherent words but he does imitate what he finds amusing on tv or from people around the house.

later~

updates~

2007-12-27T23:13:00.000+08:00

well, i've been under uber hectic activities these past few days that i rarely get a chance to write entries (either that or i've been too tired and lazy to do so...)

anyway, baby sean's been christened last christmas, after a really long, tiring and very confusing process. to his godparents, thank you for all the support. \(^_____^)/

today, though, i'm not really in the mood for smiling or even doing anything. i've been working nights and taking care of the baby during the day. i haven't had any decent sleep lately. and now someone is being grouchy about what i said when i left for work in the afternoon. sana naman

2007-11-30T03:41:00.000+08:00

well, i'm stuck at the office waiting for daybreak. supposedly, we're excluded from the curfew but i'm not sure if i'd be able to get a ride home this early...

if you're one of those people, like me, who aren't that up-to-date with current events, here's a link from gmanews.tv.

--

i know i worry a lot but who wouldn't be if you don't have any form of communication to verify if that person did in fact arrive safely at home or if he got stranded somewhere out there...

--

well, i guess i'll try going home now...

2007-11-27T05:44:00.000+08:00

ha! i knew it... i had a feeling that we, as regular employees weren't supposed to comply with that memo. i was right and you have no right to give out a threat like that to tenured agents...

--

i will be meeting my mother-in-law for the first time. i'm both nervous and excited at the same time... he will be taking her to our place to see me and the baby.

speaking of my baby boy, we had him started on solids bit by bit. i tried feeding him mashed potatoes but he didn't like it, so i bought him cerelac to start with. (^_____^)

2007-11-23T05:21:00.000+08:00

i'm not very happy about my employers right now. and i know for a fact that i'm not the only one pissed about how they run things...

what made my head spin last night was a memo saying the first half of our december pay will be held unless we complete our pre-employment requirements. wtf???

i've been in the company for almost 2 years and you think about this now? shouldn't you be doing that to the new employees? shouldn't we have the right to be waived of the responsibility of producing those documents? i would understand if we were probationary employees, but having worked for you for more than a year, that's ridiculous!

i swear, you people will suffer the consequences of concurrently sodding off your most valuable resource - your agents, your employees.

good luck with your status next year...

moving out

2007-09-23T04:32:00.001+08:00

we're gonna be starting on moving out today. it's not a very big move, though. we're just gonna be living at the one adjacent to my parents', it's one step to living on our own...

we're gonna be cleaning up the place a bit. buy an airbed for two, a small wardrobe cabinet for our clothes, do serious budgeting and try very very very hard to become independent on my parents.

drained

2007-08-30T03:55:00.001+08:00

these days, i can't seem to write anything remotely interesting or creative. maybe work is making my brain turn into mush... i guess it's also because i have very little time to think about that kind of stuff with work and the baby and very little sleep.

sometimes, i feel tired, sick, lonely and hungry all at the same time. i need a break, real bad... (-___-)

i wanna spend more time with my baby and watch him grow day by day without having to worry that i'm not getting enough rest during the day...

--

i know it's been long overdue, but, guys, next time, don't worry about how i would deal with things, especially negative ones. if i survived giving birth, i can survive anything (^______^)

2007-08-07T15:36:00.000+08:00

how do you love someone who broke your heart with his lies? -- a question that's been replaying over and over in my head. i've never been so enraged and hurt like this. somehow, i feel numb through it all. after all i've been through and all i've given up, how could this happen? of all the people in the world, why me? should i still give chances to someone who has already broken my trust? what did i do in my past life to deserve this?

i felt like my world was crumbling down beneath me but i couldn't let myself go down with it. someone else needs me now - he's still helpless and if worse comes to worst, i'm the only one he could depend on. i wanted to lash out but i had to keep my composure. i wanted to kill someone but i forced to keep my temper at bay for a more reasonable confrontation.

i wished it was easy to let go and forget everything, let him off the hook and go as far away from him as possible but i bet he would love that - being freed from his responsibilities. i don't want to give him that luxury. i want to prove that i can put a man like him back in line.

with what happened, i don't know if i could ever really trust again...

2007-05-26T11:21:00.000+08:00

please don't make me worry... do you know how much it hurts?

nearing the end of the journey...

2007-05-19T10:04:00.000+08:00

baby is due really soon... i'm getting more excited about it than scared of the pain that's sure to come. i don't really think about that... all i'm looking forward to is holding him in my arms...

after a long absence...

2007-05-12T11:35:00.000+08:00

wow... it's been a long time since i've posted here... so much has already happened during the past few months:

- it's been more than a year since me and daddy have been together as a couple
- me and daddy are going to have our own little baby boy in a month's time

... there were a lot of ups and downs for both of us, especially now that the baby's almost due, but we're still together and we'll help each other...

Life is Like a Boat - Rie Fu

2006-11-18T05:07:00.000+08:00

romaji

Nobody knows who I really am
I never felt this empty before
And if I ever need someone to come along,
Who's gonna comfort me, and keep me strong?

We are all rowing the boat of fate
The waves keep on coming and we can't escape
But if we ever get lost on our way
The waves would guide you through another day

dooku de iki o shiteru toomei ni natta mitai
kudayami ni omoe dakedo mekaku shisarete tadake

inori o sasagete atarashii hi o matsu
asayaka ni hikaru umi sono hate made

Nobody knows who I really am
Maybe they just don't give a damn
But if I ever need someone to come along
I know you would follow me, and keep me strong

hito no kokoro wa utsuriyuku mukedashiteku naru
tsuki wa mada atarashii shuuki de mune o tsureteku

And every time I see your face
The ocean heaves up to my heart
You make me wanna strain at the oars, and soon
I can see the shore

Oh, I can see the shore
When will I see the shore?

I want you to know who I really am
I never thought I'd feel this way towards you
And if you ever need someone to come along,
I will follow you, and keep you strong

tabi wa mada tsuzuiteku odayakana hi mo
tsuki wa mata atarashii shuuki de ume o terashidasu

inori o sasagete atarashii hi o matsu
asayaka ni hikaru umi sono hate made

And every time I see your face
The ocean heaves up to my heart
You make me wanna strain at the oars, and soon
I can see the shore

Unmei no huneoko gi nami wa tsugi kara tsuki e to
watashi-tachi o sou kedoSore mo suteki na tabi ne, dore mo suteki na tabi ne

--

english
Nobody knows who I really am
I never felt this empty before
And if I ever need someone to come along
Who's gonna comfort me, and keep me strong?

We are all rowing the boat of fate
The waves keep on comin' and we can't escape
But if we ever get lost on your way
The waves would guide you thru another day

Breathing in the distance
As if I've become transparent
It seemed to be the dark
But I was merely blindfolded

I offer my prayers
And wait for a new day
To the end of the sea
That shines vividly

Nobody knows who I really am
Maybe they just don't give a damn
But if I ever need someone to come along
I know you would follow me, and keep me strong

People's hearts move
And want to slip out
The moon in its new cycle
Brings along boats again

And every time I see your face,
The oceans heave up to my heart
You make me wanna strain at the oars,
And soon I can see the shore

Oh, I can see the shore
When will I.... can see the shore?

I want you to know who I really am
I never thought I'd feel this way towards you
And if you ever need someone to come along
I will follow you, and keep you strong

The journey is still continuing
On the calm days, too
The moon in its new cycle
Begins to shine on boats again

I offer my prayers
And wait for a new day
To the end of the sea
That shines vividly

And every time I see your face,
The oceans heave up to my heart
You make me wanna strain at the oars,
And soon I can see the shore

Rowing the boat of destiny
The waves assault us
One after the next
But that's a wonderful journey, too
Any one of them is a wonderful journey

throught one of the worst...

2006-10-27T04:37:00.000+08:00

my so-called weekend felt really short... still, it was nice 'cuz i could still spend it with
daddy even on an extremely tight budget... we barely made it through the horrowing almost-penniless two weeks of our lives...

wednesday was like an adventure. i was waiting for my salary to be credited on my atm card. i was told that by that afternoon, i'd be paid there so i wouldn't have to go all the way to ortigas to get it. i only had 20 pesos in my pocket and barely enough for me to get home. around 3pm, i tried checking my account but it still wasn't there. me and daddy had already been trying to pass time away at festival mall when i received a text message saying that it will be cashed out instead of through my account. we scampered back to my place to borrow some money (that's how poor we were) just to get there. otherwise, daddy wouldn't have been able to go home...

when we got to the office, we both got to breathe sighs of relief. after getting the money, we headed on to robinson's galleria to eat at chef d'angelo's... after a hearty meal, we headed back home to our respective families...yesterday, before i went to work, daddy and i got our respective haircuts at the same salon ^______^ another first! weee~!

--
three more days and we'll be six months strong and still going... love you~!

thinking on a full stomach

2006-10-22T04:32:00.000+08:00

had to attend a general assembly at the office late in the afternoon, before my shift... i didn't attend the actual meeting but gobbled lots of pasta, rice, pork, fish fillet, and corn and carrots XD XD XD i went to work stuffed and satiated. could you really imagine me finishing two full servings on a 6-inch diameter plate?

lol... there are a bunch of my officemates here in the reception area who are drunk and sprawled out on the sofas... i wanted to drink some beer but i'm already bloated as it is... besides, i can't drink 'cuz i have work...

--

questions again:

why are some people so fixated on themselves, and the people they hang around with all the time?

why is it that some people get kicks with promising something and leaving others hanging?

how come others disregard some people's ideas, but in the end, use the same thing and claim it as their own?

why do some pretend to be your friends when, in fact, they are just doing so because they think they are better than you, hence making them feel invincible...

--

grah... sorry, i'm ranting again...

2006-10-15T18:49:00.000+08:00

grah... i went home this morning at 11:30 am since i had to work double shifts to cover for a teammate. i didn't even get a chance to surf since i had to go home immediately. after all, i still have work tonight and i have to sleep.

i'm a bit depressed today, aside from the fact that i couldn't spend as much time as i wanted with my oniofchaos, my family apparently does not approve of his attitude towards them. just because he doesn't greet one of them doesn't mean that he doesn't acknowledge them. they're misunderstanding him, just like how i think he is misunderstood in his own home.

basta, all i know is this: whatever happens, i'll stay with daddy. i feel like i'm the only one who understands and trusts him. whatever happens, i will love him no matter what anyone says.

i love you~

through the storm...

2006-09-30T03:30:00.000+08:00

whew... that was a terrible storm, wasn't it?

i woke up at 9am with the wind blowing like crazy and i started to wonder where my hunny was since he was supposed to pass by my place before heading for work. he left around 9:30 and i started getting worried when my phone wasn't able to get any signal from the storm. i waited 3 hours for him, braving the cold out in near the garage gate, worried if he would be able to come to me safe and sound.

he arrived around 2pm, in sopping wet clothes. i cried when i hugged him in relief...

an hour later, my parents came home. apparently, they've been let off work due to the storm along with everyone else in the metro. hunny was also told not to come in for work anymore...

i ended up not going to work myself, due to the heavy traffic and stayed at home with hunny and my family. with the road being pitch black due to the metro-wide power outtage, hunny decided to stay at and sleep over (yet again...)

yet the start of another weekend... :3

PPF party XIII and the morning after...

2006-09-18T05:01:00.000+08:00

the PPF party was another opportunity to meet with old and new faces (most of which i caught on camera XD ). more activities were set and there are still a lot of attendees...

hunny and i went to the venue together. we met up in alabang with a weird set of get-ups: both of us wore artwork shirts, bench jeans, chuck taylor shoes and our matching specs. lol...

we arrived around 2pm. i had brought quite a lot of stuff with me: my guitar, drum sticks, hunny's magic binders and the usual things i have in my bag... there were already 20 or so people at the venue when we got there. i immediately took my phone and started shooting pics of different members.

while hunny was busy with KOF, magic, tekken and guilty gear, i busied myself with his mp3 player, noir's nintendo ds (playing loop and loop on ouendan), my guitar, and going around shooting pics like crazy. wheeeeeee~! thanks to matt, i finally got the chords for spitz's mahou no kotoba (^______________^)

after the party, me, hunny, chii, beany, matt, christen, shin, jabs, jake, sketch, akira, kuya flor, kaji, timba and other guys i couldn't remember headed on towards EDSA where we'll all be taking our respective rides home. when we got to shaw blvd, an ambulance went buzzing by, and we thought something was up. we saw kitty road kill :( and when we reached kapitolyo, there was a fire truck in the middle of the road. so we traversed over to the other side cuz we thought there was a shoot-out or something. when a trio of ladies walked past us, i overheard one saying that she saw brains scattered all over the place. someone just got ran over...

jake talked to one of the taxi drivers and one told him that there were actually a lot of casualties. a jeep lost control and ran over the people waiting for a ride on that corner where the jeep was currently stuck. good thing we decided to cross the street, otherwise we would've seen gore gore gore... lol

the rest of the guys went on ahead while the peeps coming over to matt's as well as kuya flor and kaji stayed at 7-11 then waited for a bus...

when we got to matt's, me and beany had been exhausted and crashed to one of the couches while the boys are busy with matt's pc... slept at around 4:30 am and woke up at 9. we all left matt's (save for akira) at 10 am...

hunny and the others let me get my ride first and proceeded to find theirs. missed my hunny so much yesterday...

when i got home, no one was there (they all went to church), crashed into my room and slept until it was almost 5pm. got ready and headed to work...

i'm waiting for the sun to come up before i go home right now... me and hunny will be meeting in alabang. he'll be staying at the house the whole day with me, while i sleep (^_________________^)

happy daddy day again... \(^_________^)/

2006-09-09T04:12:00.000+08:00

this is a late post from my lj...

me and hunny have been together all day for the past two or three days since i got off from work last tuesday... weee~! happy daddy off-days.... heehee~!

i'm contemplating on renting an apartment or a room nearby considering my work schedule. that way, i wouldn't waste so much energy in travelling two hours to and from the office everyday. it'll basically be the same as how much i would spend on transportation anyway. plus, i would get to be a bit more responsible with my money and my stuff, and i would be able to sleep alongside my hunny... ^_______^

waaa... so sleepy... i'm gonna be out on my way home come 5am... laters~

i got in!

2006-08-18T11:38:00.000+08:00

i was asked to come in last wednesday night for work, since it had already been almost a week since i last reported for work. hunny missed work that day. we went to gateway mall last tuesday and came home at 1:30 am. i let him sleep over at my place again and he went home late in the morning.

then in the evening, he decided to accompany me to the office and sleep there. while i worked, he slept the night away on the couch. in the morning, we bought breakfast and he went on his way to work, me going on my way home...

--

by the way, i got accepted into the other account. woooooo~!

2006-08-09T08:15:00.000+08:00

demmit, i'm going to be on nightshift tomorrow. i'm contemplating whether hunny should also sleep over at the office or not. he doesn't want to go and ride the bus all the way home without me, never did. i don't like seeing him go either... only problem is that he might not be able to sleep well enough to go to work the next day.

the good thing about the company i'm working for right now, even if i would eventually go on graveyard shifts, go through hell with travelling in the wee hours of the night or morning, and not get enough sleep, i still get to wear my sneakers, flip-flops, ripped jeans and shirts. it relieves the stress a bit...i'm expecting to get a 13th month pay this year. after all, i'd have already spent at least 10 months by the time they give it out in this company. even if it's a small company, everyone knows each other and you get to joke around the higher-ups (even with the CEO himself...).

hopefully, things turn out good, as well as with my hunny's career...

2006-08-08T14:17:00.000+08:00

waaaaaaaa~! i can't seem to be able to blog as much anymore.

anyway, i'm still in training for the account i was transferred into. hopefully, my hunny would be able to land a job as soon as he leaves his current job. i had urged him to try for a trainer position, so he can get better compensation... hopefully, everything turns out fine...

2006-08-01T16:18:00.000+08:00

waaaa... i'll be missing a lot online starting today. unfortunately, i won't have the pleasure of logging in to my online accounts as often as before. lucky you. (-___-)

i'm still very worried. but i hope that nothing goes wrong. i seem to be fidgety these days, missing my hunny with more and more, especially since sunday. i always want to keep close to him whenever i can, hug him, tell him i love him and show him how important he is in my life.

he's coming to fetch me from work later, we'll head home together, talk about stuff along the way, eat dinner at my place and say goodnight...

i love him so...

yesterday

2006-07-31T16:36:00.000+08:00

yesterday, i threw a simple party with a few friends and family for my birthday. yesterday also marked our 3rd month together and it feels like so much has happened.

to my sanzo,

whatever happens, i will always love you and nothing can ever change that. i'll stay with you through thick and thin and everything in between. like i said before, i love you no matter what the odds. as long as we have each other, we'll be able to get through anything, and last night, only makes our love even stronger than it had already been. whatever mistakes you made in the past, there's nothing we can do but look back and remember not to make the same mistakes again. i won't give up that easily. as long as we have each other, everything will be okay.

i love you so much.

new opportunities

2006-07-28T07:23:00.000+08:00

... apparently, i am to be transferred to another account starting next week. the boss has talked to me yesterday, asking me if i'd be willing to re-train and try another account where there's more opportunities to grow. i've talked to hunny about it and he says to go on ahead and grab the opportunity. looks like it's going to be an interesting start for our careers this coming quarter...

hunny's going to be working in alabang, where it's much more practical for him to be working in, still teaching english, this time, to college students as a professor. i, on the other hand, would still be working in pasig, but i hope i would be able to enroll at the same school to continue my studies. that way, we'd still be seeing each other. although we should tone down the affection a bit, i don't mind, as long as i can see him and be with him at the same place, at the same time.
i hope i would still have the energy to work and study at the same time, otherwise, i'd be going for correspondence schooling just to get a degree.
--
in other news, my birthday is in two days and i've decided to throw a small party with my friends. i hope some of them come... yaaaaaaay~! i'll be 23 on sunday! (^________^)

a simple poem

2006-07-27T10:01:00.000+08:00

sweet.
like a flower's scent in bloom;
like the spring air,
it flows.

love.
it gives life;
like a breath of fresh air,
it soothes.

breathe.
the love you've given;
i could not ask for more,
it's incomparable.

life.
shared in this cruel world;
who could imagine?
contentment.

wikimapia mania!

2006-07-26T09:17:00.000+08:00

ahahaha... i was surfing my friends' ljs for new posts when i stumbled upon habble's wikimapia entry... now everyone in the office has the wikimapia fever. harharhar!

anyway, here's a satellite view of my house:

harharhar! if you guys wanna drop by, just click on my house and follow the map... :D

PPF party 12 weekend!

2006-07-25T10:18:00.000+08:00

woooo~! PPF party12 rocked! it was my second time to go to that and there were lots of peeps when we got to the venue. i brought my youngest sis along. poor girl, she didn't sleep the whole night friday and the whole day saturday 'cuz of her thesis project and she also had classes. she went home from pasig before 9 pm. she went on to hitch a ride with my dad. i on the other hand stayed 'til dawn. we met at hunny's office, passed by the mega 'cuz hunny had to buy something for his deck (lands, and a few additional cards). then, we hailed a taxi towards crisanta, the venune. we arrived at 6 pm.

we enjoyed the event. good thing my sister was able to play on the DTX press before she headed home. hunny on the other hand, was busy with the magic tourney, and me, with karaoke revolution \m/ woooooooooo~! 92% great rating on "always" harharhar! duet with matt (xtraryce).

had my tarot fortune read by chii (kamunduhan). she immediately asked me, "what's wrong?" 'cuz it wasn't very positive. it was about a conflict with a certain person. well, it ain't my fault. that's how it goes, especially if i don't like your character...

by 12am, my voice began to sound raspy and i was beginning to feel sleepy. don't even have the strength to watch others playing on the DTX press. i sat by hunny's side while they were playing magic (deevs, christen [psychomadness], and edward [thecomstarbaby], and him). even when he was busy playing, he would still kiss my forehead from time to time while i lay my head on his shoulder. (^________^) when i really couldn't fight the drowsiness, i lay down on the mat they placed on one side of the room. i couldn't sleep at first 'cuz i was shivering in the cold. hunny went to get his jacket and draped it over me. he lay down next to me when jake got up to play on the DTX. \(^________^)/ after a while, it was my turn again on the DTX and played for the last time. even when i wasn't feeling well, i could still play a few games. that's how much of an impulsive gamer i am...

when everyone else left, we stuck around the place and waited for matt's dad to pick us up. me, chii, matt, akira, and hunny waited 'til 4 am. i think me and hunny slept in while we were waiting. we arrived at matt's place at 5 am and went straight to sleep, except for akira, who was busy watching PPGZ... we woke up at 9am and he accompanied me 'til i got a ride home.he went to my place in the afternoon, we went to church (not that we had a choice... (-_________-) ), rented some videos and watched "anak ni brocka" at home. he went left for home at around 10pm.got button pins and additional stickers from PPF. weeeeeeeeeeee~! looking forward to the next party... heehee...

ichigo and worries

2006-07-22T10:50:00.000+08:00

weee~! daddy gave me my birthday gift!

we were scouring greenhills last night for cards he'll be using for his deck. i didn't notice it 'cuz it was hanging above the displays. when he looked up and poked one of the plushies, i was like, "wai!!! an ichigo plushieeeeeeeeeeeeee~!" and he immediately asked the attendant to pick it out and gave it to me. then he whispered, "happy birthday", and a peck on the forehead.

weeeeeeeeeeeee~! so happy!

we were looking for cards in other stores when hunny suddenly froze. he saw his dream card and we didn't have enough funds to buy it (>________<);; i promised him we'd get it on tuesday and we hope no one has bought the card by that time...

--

since we parted last night, he hasn't been able to send me a message 'cuz his prepaid credits have already run out. today, he still hasn't contacted me. i hope nothing bad happened anytime since last night and today... i hope daddy's okay...

random thoughts

2006-07-21T11:07:00.000+08:00

there are things in this world that no one can explain, like, if God is indeed the supreme being, can he make sa stone that he cannot carry himself?

--

i just remembered how my last relationship went. we've been friends for years and one day, he realized he harbored romantic feelings for me. he wasn't really my type but what drew me to feeling the same was that he was kind and sweet. i was the apple of his eye, his first real girlfriend. things went well for the first few months but after that, we saw less and less of each other until eventually, he didn't even bother calling at all.

i never did hold any grudges against him. i felt that he used me for one specific purpose but i didn't tell anyone that. i didn't want to say anything to our common friends about it because, first and foremost, i wanted to straighten things out between us. i haven't been able to catch him anywhere. but if i ever do, i'll talk to him and say thank you for slowly fading away. besides, i wouldn't have met the love of my life if we had still been together.

so that's what it was?

2006-07-19T13:36:00.000+08:00

oh? that's what it's called? i thought that was called back stabbing, but i'm not sure. maybe i'll ask one of our collegues and see what they think.

the next time you decide to help out, don't talk about people taking advantage of you. it was your decision.

oh yeah, and i've asked several people of what they think about what you're saying. to them, it's still back stabbing. so i leave you with this. before you say you're being honest, ask those people to try listening to the other side of the story, that way, it would be fair to both of you. like i said before, make sure that what you say is true, don't get me wrong. i'm not saying that you're a liar. i'm willing to listen to any side of the story as long as all the people involved come face to face while i do.

happy weekend!

2006-07-18T11:14:00.000+08:00

wow... it's tuesday again? a week-and-a-half from now, i'm gonna be turning 23... time sure flies by fast.i'm thinking of having a swim party since it's gonna be a sunday. weeeee~! that means everyone can come! yay!

--
saturday

me and hun went to megamall saturday night. there, we saw deevs and matt (xtraryce) playing DM/GF. deevs had to go early, i think he was gonna be passing by rockwell. then, a few minutes after he left, edward (thecomstarbaby) showed up with a new look! awww... wala na ang "da hair"!then we waited for my sis, anna. galing daw s'ya ng sm centerpoint. then we saw jabroni, queenie (queenie51688), and the other jeff.

oh yeah, before i forget (and i can't believe i almost did...), hunny was soooo~ cute with his retro shirt. i love that shirt, really, i do... i think he looks sexy with that shirt on XD

--
sunday

we went to dad's hometown in bulacan last sunday and tagged my hunny along. since i didn't get to introduce any of my past boyfriends to her, i wanted to at least have him come along when we visit her grave. i introduced him to my aunts and uncles. it was the first time i actually brought someone to a family gathering and it was nice. it's getting to know the family bit by bit.

--
monday

waaaah! i didn't feel like playing drummania yesterday. but i'm still happy i got to spend the whole day with my hunny. soooo~ happy...

wth?!?!

2006-07-13T08:25:00.000+08:00

it's stupid, you know. what else is that good for if not for that? if you don't want it to be used that way, take the damned thing off right now.

and you. yeah, you know who you are. i'm pissed so don't friggin' do stupid stuff again.

ranting again...

2006-07-12T12:54:00.000+08:00

you're not the boss of me so don't tell me what to do. if you're going to suppress me from doing things that i want to do, you don't have the right to. is that how you're going to show that you're doing your responsibility? i only have one word for it - stupid. it gives me the impression on your character.

some weekend... (^____^)

2006-07-11T11:36:00.000+08:00

i got to do so much with my hunny this weekend. we went out saturday night to meet some of our friends after jmuzik fusion in timog. after the event, we went on to matt's place for another braincell deletion session, watching the latest pablo francisco stint on his pc.

after watching the videos, me and hun went to sleep. yay! i got to sleep next to him again.
(^___^)

went home at 11am the next day. hunny didn't accompany me all the way home and says he also had to get home himself. after a few hours though, he also dropped by my place. we left at 4pm since i still had a company dinner to attend. i brought him with me.

we went home at 10 pm, i think. he still had to go to work early the next day.

monday, i woke up at 9am and read a message from hunny. he was only gonna work half the day since he had a job interview at a local college in alabang. well, he didn't really get to be interviewed since the contact person wasn't available. he just filled out an application form and we went on to go to alabang town center with matt and chii, good friends of ours.

at 6pm, we headed to southmall to meet his former student. she was gonna treat us for dinner since she passed her exams thanks to my hunny's great tutoring methods. (^______^) yay! free food again! after dinner, hunny didn't feel like going home at all last night so i let him sleep over at my place. he got to sleep in my room and i slept in the living room with mom and my sister. as usual, we woke up early since my shift is at 6am. he accompanied me to the office and went on to where he worked after (which is a few minutes away from mine...).

oh, yeah. i bought him a cool retro button-down shirt and it looks really nice. waaaaaaah! can't wait to see him again!

a lesson

2006-07-07T09:33:00.000+08:00

sometimes people tend to forget that there are others who know more than they let on. feigning ignorance - lots of people are like that. an advice - never let your guard down.

dammit! i forgot to bring my pouch bag! how the hell am i supposed to go home with just 20 pesos in my pocket?

hunny... (T___T)

2006-07-06T08:56:00.000+08:00

my hunny's not feeling well. i hope it doesn't progress into a flu or something. i wanted to have him sleep over at my place last night but he said he could still manage to go home somehow. i hope he's okay at work. i can't help but worry. i wanna take care of him now - all day today - but we both have to work. someday soon...

hard being broke

2006-07-05T07:56:00.000+08:00

*sigh* life's really hard these days... even when we're earning 5 digits a month, it's hardly enough for us, especially since we live so far away from where we work.

i live two hours away, while my hunny lives almost 3 hours away from the city we both work in. we're spending way too much on transportation and meals. it's a good thing we can both go straight to my house for dinner, since i'm already working during the day, we get to spend time at home rather than spend more money going out.

right now, we're trying not to spend on luxuries like we used to if we want to save up for our future...

thank you

2006-07-01T08:51:00.000+08:00

i salute you for showing up and making a very good impression last night. before you arrived, i didn't think you would show up, or if you did, that you would be the exact opposite of how you were when we met after an hour or so.

hun said that you've changed, too. i think it was nice of you to treat us for our day. i'm glad you had a good time.

best of luck to you, friend. i hope that you find your match, too. thanks for last night.

happy 2nd month to us!

2006-06-30T13:18:00.000+08:00

i can't believe it's only been two months... (^_^)

i'm so happy to be with you... i love you...

cool link!

2006-06-27T13:39:00.000+08:00

har har! you can try going clicking on this... it's really interesting... (^_^)

a few days more...

2006-06-27T10:56:00.000+08:00

only a few more days and it's going to be our 2nd month together. wow... it seems like a long time. it feels like we've been in this relationship for years. and still, we see each other every single day so far... (^_^)

each time we're together, i feel so elated - so happy to be by your side again. and i know you feel the same way. i start missing you the minute we part and you're always the one person i think about every other minute you're away...

i'm so happy that you found me, hunny... i love you so much...

jealous again...?

2006-06-22T10:36:00.000+08:00

had another jealousy fit yesterday cuz of another post... i don't know why. is it because i've never had a relationship end in a good way. i start getting jealous just by the mention of a name, especially if that name is always the topic of discussion.

i shouldn't be feeling that way...

i miss you

2006-06-15T03:43:00.000+08:00

i can't stand being away from you... it seems like the more i see you, the more i get attached to you - the more i fall in love with you... what kind of spell did you cast on me? was it as strong as the spell i cast on you? or is it stronger?

i wanna feel your arms around me again... i love you so damn much...

a very happy weekend

2006-06-07T00:03:00.000+08:00

sunday...

getting home from work, my hunny met me halfway towards home 'coz we wanted to treat my parents out for their anniversary. he wanted to accompany me home and stay until we decide where we could take my folks to dinner. we stayed there the whole day. i hadn't slept a wink that morning. the only sleep i had the whole day was an hour - sitting on the couch with him beside me, both of us not wanting to lay in bed without the other beside them (which isn't at all possible since my parents were home... not that we were planning on doing anything else other than sleeping, pervs...). still, every waking moment that day was worth it.

late in the afternoon, we went to church with the whole family (to both our dismay, since we're not religious people) then headed on to dinner (with which we both chipped in to pay - hence the tight budget). afterwards, late in the evening, we went out to a karaoke bar and sang our hearts out. i think my mom and dad and my hunny are getting along real good. (^_^)

poor hunny went home at midnight, and he still had to hold a class early next morning... still we all had so much fun.

monday...

i woke up at around 10 am, feeling a bit lonely without my love beside me. ate some lunch a two hours later, got ready and went to my hun's office and spent the rest of the day with him before going to work.

tuesday...

happy birthday, hunny! (^_^)v

dm party pics

2006-06-03T02:47:00.000+08:00

me and my hubby went to the pinoy percussion freaks' drummania party last may 27th... here are some pics from the event...

jitters

2006-06-02T23:18:00.000+08:00

wahh!!! they let me talk to a client... @_@

a bit scary but i think i made a good impression... ^_^

worried for my hunny

2006-06-01T23:10:00.000+08:00

i had been so worried about my hunny these past few days. he had been running a fever and last night, when he was about to walk me to the office, he burned up quite alarmingly and it scared me. honestly, the slight fever coming and going already made me nervous and it made me even more restless when his temperature shot up. bought him some medicine and a bunch of fever patches to make him feel better.

i wanted to take care of him so bad - just watch him sleep and nurse him until he gets well...

still the best i can do is to buy him some medicine and accompany him to the doctor. still it was all worth the money just to get him to feel better again.

why am i being stupid?

2006-05-27T00:43:00.000+08:00

i'm sorry, i guess i'm being stupid again... i don't know why but i get this feeling that one day, you'd realize that i'm not really your match. this is just probably self-insecurity or something... besides, you said that no one and nothing can come between us, and if someone or something would, we'd take them out of the picture; that i'm the only one who could breathe life into your heart; that you cannot go on without me; that i have nothing to be jealous about over your past relationships and how you're in good terms with them now.

what if you suddenly realized that i wasn't really the one you're looking for? that i'm not really the one for you? that you fall in love with someone else better than me in more ways than one?

but then again, like i said, i would stay with you for as long as you want me to...

the da vinci code movie experience

2006-05-21T23:00:00.000+08:00

went out last night to watch dvc with my hunny and some friends at gateway mall in cubao. interestingly, no matter how much religious christian groups try to get their members to boycott the film, theaters were still packed with moviegoers, both avid fans of the book and those who haven't read it.

as for the movie... let's just say that if you didn't read the book first, it would be a very impressive adaptation. of course, you'd think that it's really what went on in the book, but you'd be sadly disappointed. the movie itself was just eye candy, as my hunny would put it. they altered most of the parts near the end. read the book first and then see the movie. i don't wanna spoil the experience no matter how disappointed we were when we got out of the theater.

once the credits rolled in, all the people around us were applauding the movie. as for us, me and my friends made boo-ing sounds and hunny suddenly came up with "is this some kind of christian magic?!?" and all the people were looking at us. we were laughing so hard at the hilarity of the question. not that we have anything against christianity but it's just not a very good adaptation at all...

we felt like we wasted almost two hundred bucks that we could've just saved up to play drummania...

i don't care about the past

2006-05-17T22:38:00.000+08:00

i don't care about the past, because i know that people can change. everyone has a little bit of good in them, and i believe that you do deserve to be loved, just like every person in this miserable world we live in.

whatever happens, i will always, always stay with you. i will stay with you as long as you want me to.

as the song goes, "i don't care who you are, where you're from, what you did - as long as you love me..." i will stay with you, no matter what...

i love you...

i could not ask for more

2006-05-12T02:24:00.000+08:00

it's only been two weeks and it feels like we've been together for months... years, even... now i couldn't go by a day without even messaging you. it feels like my life is incomplete when you're not around. everytime that i see you, i forget how stressful my day was and how tired i feel. when you have your arms around me, i feel like the whole world stops and the only ones that matter are you and me and the moment that we share.

Lying here with you
Listening to the rain
Smiling just to see the smile upon your face
These are the moments I thank God that I'm alive
These are the moments
I'll remember all my life
I found all I've waited for
And I could not ask for more
Looking in your eyes
Seeing all I need
Everything you are is everything to me
These are the moments
I know heaven must exist
These are the moments I know all I need is this
I have all I've waited for
And I could not ask for more
I could not ask for more than this time together
I could not ask for more than this time with you
Every prayer has been answered
Every dream I have's come true
And right here in this moment is right where I'm meant to be
Here with you here with me
These are the moments I thank God that I'm alive
These are the moments I'll remember all my life
I've got all I've waited for
And I could not ask for more
I could not ask for more than the love you give me
'Coz it's all I've waited for
And I could not ask for more
I could not ask for more

i love you~~~

2006-05-08T01:16:00.000+08:00

the other night, you told me things i could only hear in movies. i didn't think you'd feel that much for me but i'm happy that you do. it's surprising how easily i was drawn to you. even more surprising was how much effort you are willing to exert just for my sake. you have made me so much happier than i ever felt before, and i'm glad that i've made you happy with what we have right now.

it's a bit too early to say but i want us to last forever. it seems like there isn't a day that i could feel complete without seeing you or hearing your voice, or even just reading your messages on my phone. you always make me feel like i'm on top of the world when you kiss me. you ease the tension i feel after i get out of work. i feel safe within your arms when you hold me close. i can feel the warmth of your hand when you hold mine. i don't care what it takes, i'll stay with you as long as i can and as long as you want me to.

i love you so much...

the best day ever...

2006-05-03T05:51:00.000+08:00

the wind blew violently across my face as the bus rode down the freeway. the morning air was cold and shivers ran through my skin as we went along. it was four in the morning, i had just gotten off work, feeling so lethargic from staying up all night. beside me was him - the man who had, for the past few days, been worming his way into my heart. unable to keep my head from drooping with the lack of a good night's sleep, i lean onto his shoulder, trying to get some shut-eye.

a few minutes pass and turn into hours. i couldn't keep from opening my eyes to see where we already were. everytime i look at him, it seems like he's watching me, stroking my cheek and tucking a stray strand of hair from my face. he offers me his jacket, to shield me from the cool morning breeze.

as we got to our destination, i just wanted to sleep more. besides, i still had work in the evening and i needed all the rest i could get. the host allowed me to sleep in a room. i slept for only a few minutes. i kept trying to open my eyes to see him watching me, stroking my forehead, my cheek, my hands, my arms. i couldn't fall into deep slumber. i could feel the weight of his gaze. when i finally decided against trying to get back to sleep, i felt his fingers entwining mine. i felt his face hovering inches from mine. i could've sworn he was just going to kiss the tip of my nose. when i felt his lips grazing across mine, it spoke of words louder than an avalanche. i couldn't help but ride a raging wave of emotions that came rushing in on me.

and then he sang a song...

Did I ever betray your trust?
Did I ever let you down?
Did you ever find yourself
Feeling like you were so low
Just waiting by the window
You know I'm like your shadow
And you know that I'll never let you go away

I can tell when you're feeling bad
I know just what makes you mad
I can even guess what you’ll say
Long before you've spoken
Your secret code is broken
But you don't have to worry
'Cause I'll be right here Like an echo
On your side

And I’m Dedicated to you, girl
'Cause you're the center of my world
I promise you it's forever
You'll never have to look for love again
I'm dedicated to you, girl
Sodon't you ever be afraid
I'll always be right beside you
I never wanna lose you
My only love

Did I ever step on your dreams?
Did I ever keep you down?
Don't you think it seems
Like I'm in love with you so badly
So truly and so madly
This is my dedication
And my whole life
Is what I'm gonna
Dedicate to you

i was so happy i cried... he was surprised that i did. it made me realize that i did feel the same way he did and it was all i could do. we both felt like high school kids. i never thought it would be possible that i would find someone like him.

i thought that i was in-love with another guy just a few weeks ago, but this time it's different. i hope this lasts forever if that would be possible. i hope and pray that i have finally found my other half...

fate

2006-05-01T00:51:00.000+08:00

things happen for a reason and i'm still guessing why these things are happening to me right now. just this past month, i've been through a whirlwind of emotions that i couldn't even catch up to. i am happy, though i'm still a bit shocked, asking myself what i did right or wrong or whatever.

all i can do now is let it all flow and follow the path that fate will take me. at this point, i just want to be able to enjoy my life right now. and i hope that fate had already given me the man of my dreams. if not, i'll wait longer.